Nursery Rhymes for Adults

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
Mama called the doctor
and the doctor said,
“Mrs. Wilson, if you continue to have sex
with animals, I’ll have to report you.”

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
so Jill started dating a guy named Paul
who she met in a bar.

Little Miss Muffet,
Sat on a tuffet,
eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
who sat down beside her,
and said,
“What the fuck is that
nasty shit you’re eating?”

Here we go round the Mulberry bush,
the Mulberry bush, the Mulberry bush.
Here we go round the Mulberry bush,
we wish Susan Mulberry would wax that shit.

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