Random rumblings from the bowels of my mind — When it comes to brain farts, I seem to be on a strict diet of cerebral broccoli, frontal lobe beans, and hippocampus cabbage. Hopefully, after reading my latest uncontrollable bout of mind flatulence, you’ll understand my motto, “Better out than in.” Mary Lou floated helplessly towards the spaceship. As she…

Bite-size snacks for those too busy to consume that long shit — I often have brain farts for stories that are too short to pad out, and too long to become pithy jokes. I had a choice — hold them in via the Notes app on my phone, or emit them to waft past the nostrils of the unsuspecting public? …

A morning routine for a restless writer — I’ve been self-diagnosed with a condition known as, Morning Overactive Idiot Brain. It’s not in any medical journal because I’ve just made it up, but you might be a fellow sufferer. …

Curated pieces from the Musée d’Horsay — Habile Sabot de Cheval, an exhibition of equine art from The Dappled Period, is currently on display in the Galerie Chauchard on the ground level of the Musée d’Horsay, Rive Gauche, Paris. Samples of the works featured in the collection appear below.

Can traditional values save the scrambling poultry industry? — Greg Benedict: Welcome to Chicken Tonight. I’m Greg Benedict, bringing you the latest news and “the scoop from the coop”. Tonight, after a long legal battle, we’ll be hearing from a battery hen reunited with 6,452 of her eggs. Later, we’ll have an exclusive report from Chicken Kiev — how…

An attempt to cheer up ticketless Swifties — The recent pre-sale for Taylor Swift’s “Eras” tour was only supposed to be accessible to 1.5 million verified Swift fans. However, 14 million people (and bots) caused ticket pandemonium. Due to the extraordinary high demands, Ticketmaster then scrapped all sales to the general public. In total, 2.4 …

Please respect my privacy by not reading these — We all have our little secrets. My little secrets are often quite large and morally reprehensible. That’s why I safely store my extra sensitive entries right here where no one will ever find them. Not even you. When my wife is shaving my back, I worry the magic between us…

A psychologist looks behind the screams — ZOMBIE: You crave slob behavior and are ready to give up on life. Unable to accept praise about your disheveled, rotting appearance, you answer, “Nice costume!” with, “What costume?” WITCH: You prioritize a need for acceptance over originality. Manipulative and scheming, you wish you could cast a spell on any…

When conversation and confusion were one and the same — Me: D’you remember when we went to that bar to see whatshisname near that place where that Mike guy lived? My friend: The Mike who had that girlfriend from that town with the funny name, like Upper Bottom? Me: No, not that Mike. It was the tall Mike who was…